What if God's answer is "No?"

 It's been awhile since I've written what has been going on. Many blood tests have been run, and all have come back clean. So...my autoimmune retinopathy (AIR) is not caused by vitamin deficiencies or overload or any other type of medical concerns. That was an answered prayer. My eye specialists referred me to a neurologist for evaluation to receive IVIG infusions. This infusion would help calm down the overactive enzymes that are killing the proteins in my eyes. It will not restore what has been lost, but it will save any future losses (they hope).

After meeting with the new specialist, she told me that insurance would have to approve the infusion. It would take over 4 weeks to receive an approval or denial. If you think about it, 4 weeks is a really long time for someone whose vision changes often.

Here come the prayer requests.

Many times, we pray for God to answer our prayers in a positive way. There is nothing wrong with that; however, how do we respond if His answer is "No?" My prayers, lately, have been, "God, if you do not want the infusions to happen, then have the insurance company deny the request."  And....then we waited.

Yesterday, at my latest eye exam, the news was positive. No negative changes in my retinopathy, no improvement, but no worsening. At that appointment, the specialist contacted the neurologist about the insurance and infusion. At first, the insurance denied the request, but then approved it after the doctor changed the wording in the request. To me, that meant, God is answering the prayers for the infusions. If He did not want the infusions to take place, no amount of rewording the request would have made a difference.

BUT....how would we have responded if God had said, "NO?" How often do we pitch fits when we don't get what we want? God's no may be leading us to something greater, something better, something God-sized.

Isaiah 55:8-9: "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."

Could God have healed me already? Yes. Has He? No. What is His plan? I do not know, but I do know that His hands are surrounding me, lifting me up, and providing me a sense of peace like no other.

If you see me walking around using a mobility cane, it's because I have difficulty distinguishing flat surfaces from raised ones. Curbs, sidewalks, and steps are a challenge. My depth perception is almost non-existent. My bruised knees and elbows are a testament to that.

If I have my sunglasses on inside a building, it's because the lights affect my vision and make the 'fog' darker, so sunglasses help lessen that effect (I'm not trying to be "Hollywood" cool). I have a love-hate relationship with light. I need them to see, but they hurt my eyes. 

God's plan for me is still at work. There is never an end to any of His plans for all of us. As one door closes, another will open, but in the meantime, we worship in the hallways.

Read Psalm 34.

Thank you for your continued prayers. May this Thanksgiving be a time of reflection and praises for all the blessings God has given and for those yet to come.

PB