Where’s My Miracle??!!??

  Back in December, I wrote about unanswered prayers. We learn a lot about our GOD and ourselves when we are waiting on our prayers, and when they aren’t answered. We have become a popcorn generation. We want what we want quickly, like the popcorn in the microwave.

But…. GOD doesn’t always work that way. HE can answer prayers within moments of their utterance, HE can answer them years from now, and HE can answer them not at all (at least not how we want them answered). Over the last several months, this is what my struggle has been: unanswered prayers.

I kept hearing about other people’s miracles, and I wondered where was mine? Had I not been praying long enough, hard enough, shed sufficient amounts of tears….you know the drill. Even though before my latest eye specialist appointment I prayed, “God, please give me a miracle today, but if I don’t get the miracle, let me be a miracle for someone else,” I wasn’t being honest.  I wanted the miracle. Only GOD can reverse my eye ailment, my ongoing blindness. No amount of medication or infusions will reverse the damage. The cure is humanly impossible. Hence, the miracle.

We may state in our prayers, “ Let GOD’s will be done,” but do we really mean it? It’s easy to say, yet hard to live with. I’ve been convicted of my feelings, words, prayers….you name it. The convictions may not be a slap on the back of head (like Gibbs on NCIS), but they are a wake-up call nonetheless.

During the Women of Joy conference this year in Pigeon Forge, TN, let the convictions begin. I received a GOD-wink message from every speaker. My miracle conviction came as the speaker talked about 2 children, one who was healed from cancer, one who wasn’t healed from a heart defect. Why? Why? Why?

Sometimes, the miracle is how GOD sustains us in the times of difficulty, of death, of illness…

On the way home, my friend NK and I spoke about unanswered prayers, and I explained what my struggles had been with this. She told me that I am in her prayer journal, and she lifts me in prayer often. My heart was overflowing. A few days later, the LORD reminded me of the miracles I had already experienced during my loss of vision.

Auto-immune retinopathy is mainly caused be cancer or melanoma. During the electrocute the eyeballs test, the technician told us that most people who have what I have had lung cancer. HA, he was so wrong. I don’t have lung cancer, other forms of cancer, or melanoma. Those were my first miracles. WOOHOO.

My next set of miracles are found in my biblical community. I spoke about those in the previous blog. These women are my strength. I have a text group called “Joyous.” We laugh together, pray for each other,  and send encouraging thoughts and songs.

When thinking about your situation, don’t think about what you are not getting; think about what you have already received. What do you not have that could be even worse? Who is in your life that is definitely GOD-sent? Sometimes, we want our miracles to be HUGE, tv newsworthy, yet they may be small, gentle reminders of GOD’s love and grace over our lives, .

. FATHER, thank you for the miracles you have given me. I’m sorry it has taken so long for me to recognize your hands supporting me, sustaining me. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share your love, grace, and mercy with others.

“Walk by faith, not by sight.”  2 Corinthians 5:7

This has become my personal motto, a definite play on words. Yet, it has a whole new meaning for me now. I have faith that the LORD will do what is best for me. My heart is full, my anxiety is less (not gone but less), my belief in GOD’s will is honest, not just a platitude to make others feel less pity toward me. There are challenges ahead, but I am ready, HE is preparing me, equipping me, giving me my PEOPLE, my community of believers.

If you don’t have a community of believers or even 1 person to share with, I would be honored to become a prayer partner.

Thanks for reading,

PB